Sibling Rivalry

One of my deepest desires is for my sons to have the best friendship with one another. But just like my own childhood, I’m finding that they are becoming at odds. Why is this happening? Why can’t they just love each other?

What I’ve learned and realized is that with every fight or disagreement they have, all I’ve done is play referee and judge. Someone is right and someone is wrong. This leaves them looking at each other as opponents or even enemies.

I’m learning to stop being a referee and start being a coach to both boys solving their own problems with one another. Instead of focusing on who’s right or wrong, I’m trying to aim at helping them understand how their actions/behavior affected the other person.

My goal (which will take some time) is for them to resolve their own conflict while still being committed to their relationship. Easier said than done but I’m in it for the long haul.